I have read a few posts of late that state that “having a good friend is good for the soul”, which can definitely be true, and that “long term friends are a necessity to life”, I do not necessarily agree with this statement, and believe that it could potentially make some feel like they are lacking. Whilst I do not dispute that friendship is a wonderful thing, and long term friendships can be special. I personally believe the most important friendship, the one that I feel is a necessity for a happy and healthy life, is the friendship you have with yourself.

The first step is to recognise that true happiness comes from within. That love and support must start with loving and supporting ourselves. Some of the values that we admire and look for in others; love, trust, honesty and respect can be non-negotiable traits for our friendships. We should therefore also demand these qualities of ourselves for ourselves; that to me is living with integrity.

I have been truly blessed to have wonderful friends in my life. Some have been there for a short time, some a long time, and yet others have been there at the perfect time to support me through difficult times and vice versa. What is important to understand and remember is that it is not the length of a friendship that is important but the mutual love, trust, respect and honesty. True friendship is something to be celebrated. Always start with the friendship you have with yourself.

Deb

We are only a few short weeks away from ‘the day’ and I have already had mixed and multiple conversations with people about Christmas day, what it means to them and how it makes them feel. As you can imagine it is fairly diverse.

I am also aware that the majority of blogs and posts tell you to have a wonderful time, enjoy the moments with loved ones and family. What these posts fail to take into account is that not everyone has family close by, some have lost loved ones, some are estranged from family and Christmas is not necessarily a joyful time. So these sentiments whilst well intentioned can often have a negative impact on the reader. So from me to you, whatever you do or do not celebrate, whoever you are with, miss or think about – my wish is that you be safe.

There appears to be 4 main categories, those that: Love Christmas, Are sitting on the fence, Hate Christmas or Christmas is a sad time.

Love Christmas. They may love it for family, community or religious reasons. These folks may spend their day at Church, donating their time to the less fortunate, or at a large or small family gathering where Santa may or may not have spewed decorations all over the place, where there may or may not be an abundance of gifts that are generally returned or stuck in a cupboard or an over indulgence of food and beverages. And that is ok if this is your choice.

Are sitting on the fence – these are the folks that can take it or leave it, they may or may not be fussed with the total consumerism, they may or may not have decorations – it really does not matter to them. They are generally not religious and see the day as just another day, maybe one to catch up with loved ones but they are not into the excess, and if they spend the day at home with their own company – they are totally ok with that. And the rest of us should be as well.

Hate Christmas, again very varied reasons. A sense of obligation, it is a once a year commitment but there is nothing they like about the day that they feel is forced upon them, the excess in everything, buying gifts (seen as wasting money) or spending the day with people that they don’ t like, and given the opportunity they just wouldn’t. These people will often complain about having to do the right thing. Remember life is full of choices, yes there may be some that are upset with your decision, but this is your life, so decide what you do with your time wisely.

Christmas is a sad time. Now this can be for many reasons, a past bad experience, too many years of too many expectations, mental health concerns, estrangement, death of a loved one or loneliness. These are the people that my heart goes out to. I myself am a fence sitter, I can however appreciate that with the commercialism and hype that now precedes Christmas, that those who perceive that they are not able to be a part of the celebration, can somehow feel that their life is lacking, that It can make whatever feelings they are experiencing worse.

So I say at this time of varied experiences and expectations, be mindful of those who are not as fortunate, be kind and considerate to those in need, take the time to not let someone be lonely, and definitely don’t let anyone you know (even if just on the peripheral) become a statistic.

If you are someone who struggles at this time of year – please don’t go it alone, reach out, there are many organisations and many people who are there wanting to help, waiting to lend an ear. Please see numbers below:

Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636
Lifeline – 13 11 14

If you are aware of any other free services in your area that provide assistance at this time of year, please feel free to access my facebook page and note in the comments the suburb/name of organisation and telephone number.

Be safe.
Deb