As Nelson Mandela said, “Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”
Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook it is letting yourself off the hook. The truth is that the other person is not impacted by you forgiving, they don’t even generally know. Forgiving allows your heart to heal and ultimately your physical body.
Not forgiving affects our ability to be open and interact fully in life, it stifles our future interactions with other people. Not forgiving only hurts us.
It is important to remember that when you forgive you are forgiving the person, not their behaviour or actions.
We need to release stored blame, unspoken words and hurt. When we do this, when we empty out all of the hurts, and then forgive – it allows us to let go consciously so that we can begin to heal.
We need to understand that the person who hurt us did so from a place of their own limited resources and their own life truths at that time. And for example if we were a child, we then deal with this hurt and hold on to it with the limited resources that we have as a child and carry it through to adulthood.
Apart from forgiving others, there will come a time when we run out of people and situations to blame. When we decide it is time to stop our story of being a victim. When we do this all that is left to do, is to look at the hurts that we have perpetrated and forgive them. How often do we reflect on something we did or said and wished we could take it back or have a do over. We know we can’t so we have to forgive, we have to acknowledge out loud that we did the best we could with the resources we had available to us at the time. We need to give up our self blame and judgment and simply forgive our younger self.
When forgiveness takes place healing becomes available, it is the best gift you can give yourself.
Make today the day that you start your journey of forgiveness.