It is interesting that as you get older sayings of the past start to make sense! A burden shared is a burden halved, women understand this, but guys, you need to start talking, you need to open up and share what is in your hearts and minds.
I know at times it can seem a little scary and I have seen men shy away when they hear women talking about their feelings and emotions. So opening up for themselves could be quiet daunting.
We need to encourage the men in our lives to speak freely. I know that sometimes men do talk freely with each other, but I am led to believe it is not necessarily about the things that matter – our emotions, how we feel. These things are what we need to be talking about, regardless of how dark it is.
I am saddened by the amazing men in my life who hide how they are feel, pretend that everything is ok when it clearly is not. But then I am also blessed to have a few men in my life trust me enough to share their feelings, and it is such an honour and blessing when this happens.
I wrote an article several years ago that when a man shares his inner most feelings and emotions it is not a weakness it is pure courage, and I have nothing but love and respect for a man when he steps through his fear to do this.
“Truth be told we women like it, we love seeing the real authentic you, whether a friend, colleague or lover. It gives us the same freedom to drop our labels and be our true authentic selves.”
Am I saying that it is easy to say when things are not going well, hell no! I know that from personal experience, going deep into our heart and sharing is scary, we don’t want to burden others, we don’t want to appear weak, we don’t like asking for help, we don’t like saying that everything is not ok, we possibly don’t want to face rejection. And if it can be difficult for a female to share, given the societal conditioning in Australia, is it any wonder that our men feel unable to be vulnerable and reveal the truth in their hearts?
It saddens me to see men stuck in destructive behaviour. And I know that this comes from a place of deep unspoken, unresolved hurt. It saddens me the number of relationships I have seen crumble as it was easier to walk away, then for the man to face their pain.
Societies outdated labels have some men feel shame, guilt or fear when they express themselves, these labels need to be binned, as do all labels, they do not serve, they are dangerous, as on a subconscious level people try to live up to what has been assigned them.
There are men I know who do express themselves, they speak their truth, express what they are feeling; their pain, love, emotions. And I love it when they feel free to speak their truth. It does not make them less of a man.
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for men, the current rate is a staggering 8 men a day. That is 2920 funerals that should never have been held, 2920, husbands, sons, fathers, lovers, friends – who thought the world would be a better place without them.
So for the men who do know how to open up, continue being the amazing souls that you are, encourage your friends and strangers to talk, start conversations, lead the way, hug. And if you don’t know how, but recognise someone having inner turmoil then guide them to someone who can help.
Women encourage the men in your life to speak up and share their feelings and emotions. And let them know that it is ok, let them know that they are still the same loving masculine in your life, let them know that you will not judge them, that they will not be diminished in your eyes.
We all have a choice. It is now time to step up, speak out, lead the way, encourage and truly start to be loving compassionate humans. And if it is a case of you don’t know how – ask, and if you don’t want to talk to someone you know, call a hot line – but I beg you do something.