Defined: Presupposition (noun) a thing tacitly assumed beforehand at the beginning of a line of argument or course of action.
For the not so technical definition; it is a background belief, something you believe without fail. In NLP there are a series of ‘presuppositions’ that if you take on board, and actually live the belief, it enables you to deal with situations in a much more responsive, rather than reactive way thereby helping to reduce stress.
If I covered off all presuppositions this article would become a chapter of a book, so for now I will focus on a couple of key presuppositions that I endeavour to live by. They can be practised daily until they become part of who you are.
It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self. The best way to understand this presupposition is to say these statements and feel the difference:
I am angry v I am feeling angry
I am sad v I am feeling sad
It is about separating the person from the behaviour, you are not your behaviours. When it is a behaviour we are able to change that state, sometimes fairly quickly. It also softens the statement when you are referring to someone else, it is not the person you don’t like it is their behaviour.
There is no such thing as failure only feedback. This is personally one of my favourites, if something does not go the way you had planned or intended, do you beat yourself up or assess where things may have gone wrong and revise for next time. Do you belittle others for not getting something right? How much more valuable would it be to sit down and assess what went wrong with them, so that it could be done differently the next time.
Failure should be seen as a way of learning. We should also remember that people learn at different rates, so patience may be required. And we know that patience is a virtue.
Anyone can learn to do anything. Can you can remember learning to tie your shoelaces, ride a bike or drive a car? It was broken down into small easy steps. The truth is anything can be broken down into small chunks by the teacher for the learner. Master one chunk at a time. As the old saying goes, the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
What beliefs do you live by that serve you and others, and what beliefs hold you back? Sometimes we don’t even know what that limiting belief is, we just know that every time we get to x, y and z – it all falls apart. If you are struggling with those that hold you back, help is readily available, feel free to call me.
Have a great day.