Values, what are they?
Values are the unspoken ‘things’ that our subconscious uses to benchmark. It is how we assess whether something feels right or not.
As humans we have varying emotions, different experiences, or reactions to situations, events and others. What most of us don’t realise is that not only are these variances based on our belief systems and behavioural patterns, but also our values.
To me living a life of integrity and harmony is to live a life that is true to my values. When something does not feel right, or a person that I meet or interaction triggers me; it is not the person or event. It is that ‘something’ does not align with my values. It is about me, not them. This is an important distinction to make.
Two questions to ask yourself when you feel yourself being triggered are:
- Why is this person, situation or event triggering me?
- What value is being challenged?
Be a curious observer of your thoughts, and you will more often than not see that a values conflict is occurring. That your thoughts are not in alignment with your values.
I have worked with 1,000’s of people helping them to identify their hierarchy of values, and to understand how and why we can be triggered. Knowing this gives us insight into how we show up in the world. It is important to understand that our hierarchy is dynamic, they can and do change depending on the situation. However our core will always be in the top ten.
Another important distinction to make is the definition of our values. We can have a conflict with another which causes miscommunication, and it can be hard to understand why, when our values and beliefs on the surface seem the same. The easiest way to explain how this happens is to ask yourself and 3 others what the word freedom means to you. You will quickly see that whilst we may have the same word, our personal definition can be very different.
When we understand our values, assess situations and take responsibility, the ride through life becomes much easier. It is about stepping up and taking responsibility for how we are feel and show up in the world. Are you up to the challenge?
Deb
