Is how we think people view us really what they think, or is it our perception of what they think? Or maybe their misconception? And how often have we thought something and been completely off the mark? Also is it really any of our business what others think of us? And should we care if incorrect? No and No, but does that stop us, No and No. Why? Because we are human, and at our very core we want to be liked, we want to be accepted and when we feel that we are not, or maybe misjudged, we can often go out of our way in an attempt to make people change their mind, view or opinion of us.
Now we all know that trying to control what someone else does or thinks is an exercise in futility. I like to refer to it as trying to turn the tide back with a teaspoon. We can have difficulties controlling our own behaviours, habits and judgments at times, so what makes us think that we have the capacity to control others? And just because it is something we would do, say or believe, does not mean that it is the same for someone else.
Sometimes we may feel or think a certain way about a person, thing or situation due to a prior direct experience. But since that initial ‘experience’ we may have had many different experiences that could if we looked at things with open curiosity, in a mindful rather than mindless fashion change our view or opinion, but we don’t, why? Because most of the time we are not being mindful, we are on auto pilot. And when we are not being mindful, what are we being? Mindless…
So my challenge to you this week is each and every day, take a held belief, view, habit, behaviour, or situation and inspect with open curiosity, really be mindful about whatever it is. Is there room to, move, grow or change? And if there is, what can you do about it, and more importantly what will you do about it? Change only occurs when we make a choice to change, if we are waiting for others to change, or waiting for someone or something to change us – it could be a very long wait.
So take control of yourself and see with open curiosity what it may be time to change.
Have a great day.